BettieMorbid (bettiemorbid) wrote,

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you can bet i'm betting against myself again... :-\

dramatis personae
me - always the believer.. always trying to Bat in a much higher league..

i came out of my shell and questioned what was wanted, as well as what was needed.... and i got an answer.. slightly confused now.. but at the same time, not pushed away but welcomed along for the ride to see what else might happen... but i am still confused.. mostly because i'm not used to this?
how can i make this work.... how does this happen to other people.. maybe i am out of my league, but it wasn't my fault, it was the use of words that pulled me into this feeling, it was situations and conversations and actual words that made me feel this way.. maybe i shouldn't worry, maybe i should pull out some moves and extra charm i haven't used in a long time.. i have the funding for it, and i know where she'll be all day.. Saturday December 4th.. as if that has any meaning, and i know it wont besides the date on receipts.. maybe a new password? hmm? 120404? sounds like a nice number.. add all the numbers up... you get 11... add those up.. 2.. one more than 1... maybe that's a sign in itself.. wake up neo.. neo was 'the one inside the one' "oneone " but that's just a movie.. a cheesy one at that for me to base my feelings off of, but i wont give up.. no matter what other people bring up.. one-sided stories.. trying to knock the air out of, to succumb, any sort of meaningful thing i can try to bring myself to feel good about..

what do you people want from me...

i just want something without a List of Repeating Cast of Characters that everyone knows oh so well... you may have your cameo, but you will never upstage me in my life.
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Yeah, don't you hate it how everyone around here dates everyone AND their friends AND their ex's AND their siblings.. I'm itching to get out. It's time to make a -new- cast of characters, you see what I'm saying?
holy shit.. you cracked my code.. YOU READ WHAT OTHERS COULD NOT READ..